Saturday, December 01, 2012


   Each day, in the background below ground level, is the hole I repeatedly launch from. Within it, I insist to myself that I want to be a full partner, to write, to learn, to research, to create, to workout, to cook, to maintain what needs to be maintained, to be the activist I am.
   I call it the cancer treatment hole, my struggle to be whole, to climb out once again in the face of physical and emotional fatigue. I defy it, just as I defy the aged state of my 76 years.
   I went through this once before, between 2001 and 2003, so this is the second round, now much more aware, as some caregivers have become also, of wholistic approaches rather than solely those of the medical-industrial complex.
   I'm so reluctant to write about this. But, as I write about other things, I need to write about this as well.

The way I’m setting out to do this is in three modes: (1) telling something about the “Then” of the first round of my interaction with prostate cancer; (2) the “Now,” which will include research I’m pursuing as well as my current interaction; and (3) “Reflection,” more expressive of my thoughts and state of mind while dealing with the understandings of the “Then” and the “Now.”

   (What I'll add from here on in the blog about my cancer will be a draft of what may become a larger work ...)

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